So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
A bitchslap is in order.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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