Well douche your snatch and let's go!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
