Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
