you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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