DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
