My nipple is on Facebook.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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