he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
