all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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