great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
