Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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