How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
