I seem to have left my pride at pride
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
