Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
