I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
