Sry I called you an 8
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
barbara walters just said penis...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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