Screwed.edu
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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