fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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