im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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