Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
