Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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