Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize