On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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