So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You're a waste of cheezeits
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think people are normalizing furries
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
