We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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