No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
