You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
only if we run a train.
done.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
