remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
