WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
