I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
