omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
