hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
