the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize