So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
