This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Everclear isn't food dammit
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
