Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I am midnight drunk by noon
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
