I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She needs sedatives and a leash
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
