How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
