My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
