True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
where am i from again
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
