brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
