and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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