she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
