i don't like sucking hair
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
