I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
