I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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