I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
