forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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