I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
