you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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