Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
please don't ironically join a cult
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