he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
