I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
