your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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