The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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