Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
