We're facebook friends in real life
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
