oh god the rape fog is back!
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
