why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
